Safety is Found Within Yourself
“Hmm, what a delicious cappuccino, and what a beautiful setting!” sighs an enthusiastic guest. We sit together on a cozy terrace at the edge of the garden, the chill corner. Enjoying the view and the sounds of the wind organ, they confide in me, “We’ve been looking forward to this vacation, it feels like the perfect moment after disappointing results at the hospital. It’s wonderful to be able to clear our minds here.” At first, I’m taken aback and share in their emotions. When the whole story unfolds, I realize this remarkable couple has grown accustomed to a situation that offers them no safety—a reality where everything is suddenly uncertain and the world feels upside down. Yet, I see them savoring each moment. This week alone, I’ve heard three similar stories where the foundational safety has been stripped away due to illness, yet these people have chosen to hold on to hope and fully enjoy life.
Surviving or Truly Living
As if that weren’t enough, I learn that my best friend has to have another dangerous mole removed. She, too, is accustomed to the situation. “Hey, I’ll just walk around with a raised eyebrow. At least that radiates authority,” she quips. After the shock of last November when she found out she had a melanoma, she now exudes an incredible calmness, openness, and contentment. She doesn’t panic over a sunray hitting her face. Together, we trust that everything will be alright. Another guest is fully recovered and has been declared clean. She looks radiant. So, I spend a week surrounded by people who have faced or are facing life-threatening situations. Instead of merely surviving, they leap into ‘truly living.’
Fire Safety
We realize how fortunate we were last year during a devastating fire close to our Casa. Seeing how disastrous the tragedy in Pedrogao and Gois left its mark with 64 casualties is painful. After the initial shock last year, I quickly settled into a kind of adaptation mode. Following our safety protocols in the event of a wildfire, we remained practical and social. A strong sense of community prevailed among the guests. Of course, it’s easier to stay calm when the fire isn’t licking at your heels.
Trusting in a Positive Outcome
This year, the Monchique fire department has responded three times, and each time the fire was extinguished in about an hour. “After the first warning, about eighteen fire trucks rush in from different directions to the blaze. They are supported by two helicopters with water bags,” the mayor of Monchique tells me with fire in his eyes. “You have to use heavy artillery to snuff out the flames at their source.” As a true civic leader, he takes the responsibility for the residents of Monchique very seriously. Despite the heightened alertness we carry throughout the entire summer, we enjoy our guests and our paradisiacal spot even more. What I cannot control, I let go of, learning to trust that everything will turn out well.
No Guarantees
Why is it that so many people, after the first shock of a significant event—regarding relationships, health, or natural disasters—move on relatively quickly to the order of the day? Even while the wound is still palpable, we see them enjoying life and laughing. This shows the immense flexibility of the human mind and the drive to live. Hope gives life, even though life offers no guarantees.
True Safety
Is that the essence? Learning to live without guarantees but with complete trust? The only certainty we have is that we will die. Everything else is up for grabs. Ultimate safety doesn’t depend on well-oiled fire prevention, a skilled oncologist, or a relationship therapist. Those things help, of course. But true safety is found close to home, within yourself. Allowing yourself to feel scared, powerless, sad, or angry about the things in life you cannot control creates a sense of safety within. Sharing helps, but dwelling does not. We do not know what the future holds, but we have the NOW; let’s embrace it!
