Caring for Meaningful Matters
“Sigh, another whiner,” she says, puffing as she stares at her phone. “I’m so tired of this,” she continues. “So what’s the reason you keep going?” I ask as we pause for a moment. Meanwhile, we enjoy the stunning view from Ponte da Piedade. The sun glimmers on the ocean, the vibrant colors against a bright blue sky and a turquoise sea, and those golden cliffs. “Well, it pays well,” she sighs. “But are there any other reasons for you to keep doing this work?” I probe. “Well, it’s enjoyable. And sometimes it’s challenging.” “What are the meaningful things in your work?” I inquire. Silence follows.
No Work from Your Work
So, step by step during our walking coaching conversation, we delve deeper. You could say that if you don’t enjoy your work, it drains your energy. Moreover, if it doesn’t bring you any sense of purpose, you might wonder, “Why keep going?” A good income without time to enjoy that money—what’s left then? Frustration, emptiness, loss of focus. And in the worst-case scenario, a burnout. Yet, it is possible to not make work out of your work. You can start your workday with joy and feel, “I’m excited! I’m engaging in meaningful matters.”
Do Something You Love
Even if you’re retired, it’s still nice to care for meaningful matters. That doesn’t mean you have to immediately sign up for volunteer work at the Salvation Army. But do something you truly enjoy. Whether it’s walking every day, reading the newspaper with a cup of coffee, or chatting with your neighbor. As Dutch people, we carry a Calvinistic background, often confusing meaningfulness with usefulness. Meaningful matters are what give your life substance. You feel inspired and happy. Time flies. That doesn’t mean that whether you’re working or not, there aren’t less meaningful days. But overall, you feel, “Yes, we’re going for it again!”
Wake-Up Call
Sometimes you don’t realize that something inside you is saying; it’s time for something different. As you know, I worked for KLM for twelve years. The first two years as a flight attendant, quickly moving up to purser. I truly loved it. Especially the teamwork, the diverse passengers, and the beautiful destinations. But…the tasks became repetitive. The diversity was in having different passengers, colleagues, and destinations on each flight. Still, I started experiencing time zone issues. My tights kept tearing. Signs of trouble. Until I developed an acute herniated disc with a risk of paralysis, followed by surgery. A significant wake-up call for me.
Meaningful Matters
So, as I see it, meaningful matters make themselves felt through the following ingredients:
– You feel happy while doing it
– You have energy to spare
– Time passes without you noticing
– You feel inspired
– You feel connected, both with yourself and with others
– You want to shout this happiness from the rooftops
– You know your limits and generally feel relaxed
Non-Meaningful Matters
But if you spend most of your time on non-meaningful matters, you’ll face the following aspects:
– You become irritated, demotivated, and eventually depressed
– You feel utterly exhausted
– You find yourself constantly checking the clock
– A haze of isolation descends upon you
– You want to share your grievances with everyone, but they don’t listen anymore.
Setting Boundaries
Now you might be thinking, “You have it easy. Because you’re doing what you love.” Yes, that’s completely true. But when we started here in Monchique, it was hard work. And not always enjoyable! We did everything ourselves: cleaning, laundry, and gardening. Additionally, we were available 24 hours for our guests. If I had kept that up, I would have faced another herniated disc or a burnout. This time, I experienced palpitations and dizziness. Signs of trouble. We immediately blocked three days and hired help for cleaning, because cleaning is neither my passion nor my expertise. Furthermore, after running the B&B for two years, they found a lump in my breast. It was a question of benign or malignant. Another signal. Because I cared for everyone else but poorly for myself. Experience teaches.
Shining
Now I no longer make work out of my work and only do what inspires me and energizes me. Such as being a hostess, a walking guide, a coach, and a course leader. It’s the variety and depth with people that continually fascinates me. Meanwhile, I pay more attention to my own boundaries and free time.
In short, you can have your dream job, filled with so many meaningful matters. But if you don’t pay attention to your boundaries, you might still end up drained of energy. So whether you’re working or enjoying retirement, engage in meaningful matters. Where you can shine! Where you can share your esprit. But… do pay attention to the signs. Because if you turn ninety, what do you hope life has brought you?
